Monday, May 25, 2009

The Secret Tweet Universe

Ever have something that you felt you had to get off your chest but didn't really know how to? Ever felt the need or want to tell someone something but felt ashamed or unsure of how they would judge you if they heard you say such things? There are times when we bottle things up inside. Things that we are feeling, things that we are thinking and just don't know quite who to tell it to.

There have been several times for me, especially throughout this past year, that I just wanted to scream out all these mixed emotions that I have. Problem is that some of these things have been quite personal (a little too personal) that I don't feel comfortable sharing w/my family or even my best friends. They are personal heartaches, personal thoughts that I sometimes have to just let out.

Which brings me to the purpose of today's post. There is a secret twitter place that exists where you can let out everything you want. And the beauty of it all is that it is done anonymously!! Whether you have the need to spill out your thoughts or are simply just curious of what others have to say, you should follow. Sometimes reading some of these secret tweets makes you think that maybe things aren't as bad for you as they are for others. The following YouTube vid is from my friend Thor ( who was the one who introduced me to the secret tweet universe. Enjoy!!


Wednesday, May 20, 2009

My Real Friends vs My Internet Friends

These past couple of weeks something has been on my mind. I have been thinking about the difference between my real friends (those that I have that I go out/communicate with here at home) and my internet friends (who I have met online throughout the yrs).

I have noticed that within the last month or so, I have made alot more internet friends than usual, and to tell you the truth, some of these people I have really grown to care about and know. Which brings me to the point of today's post. I am seeing that as much as I enjoy spending time w/my friends here at home, I truly do enjoy all the time that I spend w/my internet buddies online. Some of these individuals I have gotten to know on a personal level and have been able to relate with on certain issues. There are some that I have stayed up with until 4/5 in the morning either in a chat or on AIM just talking about random stuff that goes on in life. I see that I feel very comfortable with some of these people, so comfortable that I am able to just express myself freely and there is never any judgement on their behalf, I hear their troubles and they hear mine. And the most important thing of all.....they make me laugh. Some of these people have brought so much laughter into my life.

So to conclude today's post, as much as I love and care for my local friends, I love and care for my internet friends as well. I want to say thank you for making me laugh and I hope that our friendships will continue.
To @MrsGinobili, @rita202109 and @JwinfrmSA and @Rose_Flores, @iamgrey and @illegalvenez (my vampire coven), this post is dedicated to you all. :)

Friday, May 15, 2009

Is It Possible to Hate Someone So Much That You Don't Care if They Live or Die?

There is a person in my life that I truly despise. So much that if I saw this person lying on the ground suffering from a heart attack, I would turn and look the other way w/o a single thought of concern. Is that bad? My mother always told me that hate was a bad word. That it was always better to say that you dislike someone. But I am sorry, I hate this person.
Perhaps I should explain. You see, I am not a bad person and it is not in my nature to hate someone. I'm am quite lovable and get along with others easily. It really takes alot to get me mad at you and usually I end up forgetting about it at the end. But if you hurt me or someone I love, you make an enemy for life. That is what happened with this person. She is responsible for my not being able to see my grandmother anymore and is the reason that my father and I had to have everything moved out of the house that I have known since I was little. She has caused my father and I great heartache and pain and was never compassionate with us when we were going through a difficult time.
The reason that I am posting this blog is b/c it's been bottling up inside me again. I was told that I need to release the anger and just blog instead of making myself sick like last time. That's how bad it's gotten!! Oh well I guess that's life. I feel much better now....

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I can't help it.....I'm a girl!!!!!

Today I realized something. I found out that I have a sickness....I am addicted to shoes and purses.
It all started today as I was planning to rearrange my room. Today I was unpacking a few containers that I have been meaning to get to since I moved back in with my dad. They have been sitting there in my closet for the past few months. As I pulled them out, I was rather curious as to what was in them. I popped open the lids and there they designer shoes and purses!! Oh how I've missed them!! In my opinion, a girl can never have enough shoes or purses (or sunglasses for that matter but that's a whole other story).

One may wonder how I could forget such a thing, well here's the deal. Since my mom's passing, some of the things that I really cared for suddenly became of less importance. I have been doing the traditional custom of wearing black for the past yr out of respect and honor for my mom and I have not really had a need let alone a want to wear/change my shoes and handbags. It started to feel somewhat pointless. Anyway, that being said as I was pulling out my shoes and bags, alot of them brought memories of my mom because it was she who bought me most of them. She knew my weakness for a nice new designer handbag and it always brought her such joy to buy me one. So I have decided, I am gonna take back that part of me that I have been neglecting for awhile. It may not seem like it, but this is a big step for me. I know that soon I will be myself again :)

Friday, May 8, 2009

What!! Twitter Maintenance, nooooo!!!

Today's twitter maintenance reminded me of a YouTube vid that I saw a few months ago about how the world would be w/o Twitter.

Funny how twitter has become an everyday part of our lives. Unlike the character in the vid, I do enjoy knowing what my twitter friends are doing throughout the day. There have been times where I have had a pretty rough day and it is those quirky twitter comments that some of my tweeple have posted that I read that make me laugh and feel better. With me, there is no real distinction between my "real" friends and my online twitter friends. All of them are real for me and as much as I love my friends that are part of my everyday life, I love most of my twitter friends just as well.

Family = Laughter

Tonight I did something that I have not done for a long time, I laughed until my side hurt and tears filled my eyes. I was at home with my dad when the phone rang. It was my favorite aunt from my dad's side inviting us to go eat dinner. So my father and I got ready and went to go meet her and my cousin at The Golden Star Restaurant. It was pleasant. We ate and talked about our day. And then it all started with American Idol. Now I will not go into details and specifics b/c alot of the things that were said included inside jokes about family members and I'll be honest with you, that is a whole other blog. We talked about American Idol, Susan Boyle, Robert Pattinson playing a gay man and my dad thinking that he got the Swine Flu last weekend.

My point is that it has been awhile since I've laughed so hard. I mean really let myself laugh to the point where tears were flowing and my side was hurting. It may not seem like a big deal but it is too me because I don't find myself laughing as much as I use to. Especially since the passing of my mother. Oh my God, I am not gonna lie, it has been hard. There are days where I feel so empty inside and days that I feel fine. Sometimes I feel weird thinking that I shouldn't be laughing, but then I know for a fact that my mom wouldn't want that. But it has gotten a little easier to laugh, which is the whole purpose of this post. I have learned that I shouldn't take my family for granted and know that they are here for me and my father. Laughing is a good thing.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

A Love......A Best Friend

Before anything, this blog acts as an online journal for me and sometimes I will post what I am thinking or struggling with at the moment, hence the following post. To my dear twitter buddies that are following my Blog, I want to say thanks for following, and I promise you, you won't have to read about my thoughts and problems that often. At least I hope not!! Now on to what's on my mind right now...
Ever pay attention to how stupid a person can act, let alone sound when they've been bitten by the love bug? Recently, I was visited by a ghost from my past that appeared out of nowhere!! This person, who I truly do love, has been a big part of my life for the past couple of years. We dated, had fun but decided that we would be better off as friends. Bad thing is, we became best friends. He is probably one of the few people who knows everything about me. Now all of a sudden, that younger version of this person who I fell for a few years ago has decided to come out and I am really not sure what to make of it!! As much as I want what we once had, which now seems like so long ago, I'm also afraid to lose my best friend...........I know you will read this. And though you may not agree, all I'm asking is to give me time. Thank you for always being there for me especially this past yr with everything that has happened. I know that you are trying and I appreciate that.

My Pets!!!

Just wanted to post a quick blog about the little critters that reside with me and my dad.
I'll begin with the oldest, my cat. Her name is Shotzie, which is sweetheart in some language. She will be 14 years old this October. I rescued her from near death. When I found her, she was the ugliest thing. She had ear mites, was full of fleas and her left eye was swollen. Being the huge animal lover that I am, I quickly fell in love with her. We took her to the vet, got all that we needed for her and we had a new addition to the family. Within the past 13 years, she has already used up most of her nine lives. People would think we were crazy for the amount of money that has been spent on her. She is now in her "Golden Years" and really doesn't do much. She has become a fat,lazy cat.
My next set of pets are my 2 German Shepherds, Venus and Apollo. I have always had shepherds in my life for as long as I can remember. They are good watch dogs and I love them dearly as well. The male is the darker one and was the oldest. Apollo recently passed away, but I felt that I had to include him in this blog b/c he was part of the family.
And finally there is the newest of the bunch, Ms. Paris Hilton who just turned 1 this past December. My mom named her. Funny thing about her is that she has her papers and is AKC registered as a Yorkie, but somehow seems to be too big to be one. Mom always said that she was bigger because she was Texas sized. They told us that she can't be used to show b/c her ears never went up but we never intended to have her in dog shows anyway.
So those are my pets. I love them and they all bring such joy to my life!!

Saturday, May 2, 2009

I did not get the win, I got something better!!!

Well what started as an unsure event, became a sure win!! Yes, I made money today at the Kentucky Derby!!! Granted I did not win at post, I did however win by an exacta. After hearing the bad news this morning about my original horse "I Want Revenge" being scratched, let alone that it was gonna be a sloppy field due to the rain, I was kind of bummed. He was a sure win and I already had planned out how I was gonna bet. I had to turn to plan B, my second choice "Pioneer of the Nile". I already new that he had a good chance of winning. He was my original pick back in mid April, especially since he was one of Baffert's horses who has always brought me big money in the past. The key was to find who would be the shoe in that would come in second for the exacta. I was undecided between 4 horses and just decided to box them all with "PON" and hope that one of them would come in second! Little did I know that instead of coming in second, one of the horses that I picked, "Mine That Bird", came in first which shot up the purse value because he was a longshot!! His odds were 50-1!! It was a great day at the races. I turned $200 worth of multiple possibilities into a win that paid a little over $2000. Thank you "Mine That Bird" and I hope to see you in the Preakness Stakes in two weeks!!!

I Want Revenge got scratched!!!

Well, I had a plan. Was gonna bet big on I Want Revenge, <<<< the horse over there-I was that sure of him!!! And then I woke up to find that the favorite to win the KY Derby this yr got scratched due to an injured ankle!! Ahh, this takes me back to the Belmont Stakes of 1999 (yes I've been playing the horses that long, I started when I was thirteen!!) when Charismatic (who would have been the next Triple Crown winner since Affirmed) broke his leg in two places inches away from crossing the finish line. I swear, if I could have jumped through the TV, I along with several other crazy people, would have pulled him over the finish line!! I lost money that year, but things worked out well for the horse though, he now resides in Japan and is used to stud. Lucky him!! Haha!
I have no choice but to see what my alternate choices are. I'm thinking, "What would mom have done"? Lukas has a horse that looks pretty good, he's had 6 straight KY Derby wins in the past. Pletcher and Baffert have horses as well that have not failed me in the past. I'm not gonna bet big, especially now that the favorite is scratched. These are just random thoughts I'm having before heading to the race track. Let's see what happens...